Fallacious
by RabulaTasa
Summary: Beast Boy's logic is impeccable, as always.
1. A Fallacy of Division

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Teen Titans.

**Author's Note**: Written in twenty minutes after JasonVUK mentioned the idea, so it's a little messy. Sorry I'm not sorry.

* * *

_**A Fallacy of Division**_

He tells himself that he's not cheating.

He tells himself this as he approaches the entry of her dark domain. There he hesitates, knowing better than to enter her residence without invitation.

He tells himself that he is still faithful as a sable claw thrusts out, wraps its talons around his wiry frame, and swiftly draws him into her domain. He lands roughly and is sure that he would be covered in bruises if she weren't so careful to keep their involvement a secret from those who would... misunderstand.

He tells himself that he is doing no wrong as he breaks free of her grip and rushes to close the gap between them.

He tells himself that no one would be hurt as their limbs clash and tangle. Fabric rips, flesh rends, the world around him swirls and twirls and spins and _breaks_. Teeth flash, claws grip, and the two come together in a whirlwind of blood, sweat, and tears. Groans, moans, and pleas combine into a single desperate cry as agony and ecstasy become one and the same.

He tells himself that she feels no guilt over this relationship (so why should he?) as he lays on his back, bleeding and utterly spent, white magic mending skin and fabric as his lover replays the night in her head-as she will continue to do until their next rendezvous. He is never _not_ on her mind these days, and he knows it.

He tells himself that he doesn't love her and that she doesn't love him and that _it's only sex_ and knows that he is wrong on two counts.

He tells himself to stay silent as Raven mentions that she hasn't heard a peep out of Rage in weeks and that she doesn't know why but she suspects she is finally getting the errant emotion under control. She gives him one of her small smiles and he laughs nervously and changes the subject.

He tells himself all manner of pretty lies and half-truths each night as he sneaks out of Raven's bed and into her head, knowing all the while that he can't keep doing this but that stopping isn't an option either.

He tells himself that he's not cheating...

... not technically.

* * *

_Rage is exciting, but leaves me confused and exhausted._  
-Mason Cooley


	2. A Fallacy of Composition

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Teen Titans.

**Author's Note**: I had a slight compulsion to make this into a matching set... and then it got away from me.

* * *

_**A Fallacy of Composition**_

She tells herself that he isn't cheating.

She tells herself this as she basks in the love she feels emanating from him with every touch, every glance. She desperately ignores the guilt that taints it, furiously driving thoughts of blonde-haired blue-eyed homewreckers from her mind.

She tells herself this as she jerks awake at two in the morning after a _particularly_ vivid dream to an empty bed, an open dresser drawer, and certain knowledge of exactly why Rage hadn't so much as _squeaked_ in the last two months.

She tells herself what she needs to hear and, in doing so, manages to catch them unaware and in the act. Garfield is simultaneously relieved and terrified at her outwardly calm composure-he cannot tell if it is genuine or merely the calm that precedes the storm-while Rage openly seethes at being denied the outraged eruption she had expected in the event of their discovery... as well the apparent cessation of her nighttime distractions.

She tells herself to listen as he responds to her quietly emphatic demand for an explanation, but cannot find it within her to pay attention once she's gotten the gist of his story: as is his usual _modus operandi_, it's a case of good initiative, bad judgment. Instead, she ponders what this discovery means for the future of their relationship. She reaches an epiphany just as his voice tapers off into a question that she doesn't hear and that doesn't matter. Opening her mouth, she pronounces judgment. Rage cackles madly as Garfield turns a decidedly minty shade of green.

She tells herself that he isn't cheating...

... but that doesn't mean he's getting away scot free.

* * *

"As much as I hate to admit it, he's right," Raven said as she flipped to the next page in her book, "this is _much_ better than meditation." The bespectacled emoticlone beside her acknowledged the comment with an perfunctory grunt as she scribbled notes furiously into a thick grey tome. The empath found herself mildly curious as to how the saffron-colored figment of her mind could know what was happening on the other side of the stone wall looming high above them, but decided set that question aside for later and instead focus on the contents of the orange volume in her hands. Several minutes (Or was it hours? She never could keep track of time once engrossed in a good book.) later she heard Knowledge slam her book shut. Glancing over, Raven was surprised to find the normally reserved aspect breathing heavily and brightly flushing.

"Is she done?" Raven asked. Knowledge bit her lip, staring straight ahead for a moment before silently nodding and handing over the book she had been so frantically writing in moments earlier. Setting the orange text on top of a pile consisting of a brown book of medium thickness, a thin red pamphlet, and an enormous violet volume, Raven accepted the proffered document and cracked it open. As she did, the stone wall sank halfway into the ground, revealing Timid's hooded head above it.

"I-I'm finished," she stuttered. "I'm sorry I took so long."

Raven didn't look up, instead slowly turning the weighty book in her hands clockwise. Knowledge, it seemed, had run out of space and taken to the margins. "Not at all," she said, her voice betraying her astonishment. Timid looked back over her shoulder and suddenly sank into the ground with a squeak, her walls following with her shortly thereafter to reveal a naked Beast Boy lying face down on the ground. The changeling bore no signs of physical injury or distress except, apparently, for a complete inability to muster the energy to get up off his face. "Mercy," he croaked, imploringly reaching out with a shaking arm before gravity reasserted its dominance and sent it crashing back down.

"Who's up next?" Raven asked Knowledge, ignoring the green Titan in front of her. Still bearing a bright vermilion blush, the emoticlone hefted up a pink book roughly the size of a complete Unabridged Oxford English Dictionary with a grunt. After a moment her arms began shaking and she was forced to lower the absurdly large book between her legs, resting it on the ground so she could comfortably write on the first page. "Is that really necessary?" Raven asked, slightly aghast at the size of the blank record of Happy's coming time with Beast Boy.

"Actually, it's a conservative estimate," came the reply.

"I request a stay of execution!" Beast Boy gasped, having heard the exchange. Raven found herself inclined to agree with his choice of terminology, but...

"You get a two hour break," she announced ("Aww!" shouted an unseen observer), "and... I'm thinking two bottles of water." Knowledge coughed and looked meaningfully down at the book between her knees. "Or maybe I'll just go get a case and we'll play it by ear." An exhausted laugh and a thumbs up was her only reply. "I'll let Robin know we won't be making it to tomorrow's morning training either. It _is_ flu season, after all."

"The spirit is willing," he cried out in reply, "but the flesh is spongy and bruised!"

* * *

"Well that was... _wow_," Beast Boy said hours later as he lay on Raven's bed, too thoroughly exhausted to move a muscle. "Did all that really happen, or-"

"Yes," Raven said with a smile, as she lay beside him, her mind more at peace than it had been at any point she could recall. Reaching out, she grabbed his hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Thank you for going through with it. I know it was... difficult... at times."

"Psht," he snorted, rolling his eyes. "Oh yes, because you know how much I hate having sex with you and all."

"You looked like you were about to cry when Happy pulled out that feather."

"Maybe because she pulled it out of _me!_" he protested indignantly. "And by the way, what was up with the yellow you? The one with the glasses and the books and such? What's her deal?"

"Oh, that's Knowledge," the empath replied. "She's more of an observer than a participant, but she came up with some excellent ideas for next time."

"_Next time?!"_

"Oh yes. She's particularly interested in what will happen if you interact with them in pairs."

"What do you mean, _pairs?!_"

Raven only smiled innocently in response.

* * *

_You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six._  
-Yogi Berra


End file.
